Goodbye (Finally)

After jumping back and forth about when Jonathan was really leaving for Indianna, we have finally said our true goodbye.  It was more difficult this time for some reason.  There were actually some tears and it was really hard to drive away.  It seems like such a long drive to Macon but it was even longer in the silence (once Caitlyn fell asleep, anyway).  I keep telling myself that this deployment will be over before we know it but it is only just begining!  I miss him so much already.  The first deployment was so much different for us.  We hadn't yet bonded like we have now.  We had yet to even live together for more than two weeks before he came home in 2006.  We've now had almost 3 years of bonding, ups and downs, and time to realize just how much we love one another.  Though much of the time was broken up by Jonathan being sent away for MOS schools and training, we still grew stronger as the months went by.  Each goodbye got easier though, nothing was easy while I was pregnant.  We hit a really rough patch but came through it stronger than ever and we've only been growing closer ever since.  I feel so connected to Jonathan and part of me is afraid that our time apart will cause us to lose this connection.  I know that we can always get it back if we do but I also know that I am going to try with all my might to keep it together.  

The one thing that has brought us together more than anything else is Caitlyn.  I see how Jonathan is with her and I cannot help but be amazed and fall even more in love with him.  Even as he was saying goodbye, he lovingly covered her with a blanket and gave her a toy and a kiss.  He is so sweet with her that sometimes it honestly make me cry.  I know how important my relationship with my Daddy was to me and it makes me so happy to know that Caitlyn is going to have the same from Jon.  She's already melted his heart in the few short months she has been with us so I cannot imagine what a sucker she's going to turn him into when he comes home!  While a part of me is sad for Jonathan to be gone and ready for this deployment to just be over, I am also looking forward to watching Caitlyn grow and change and to see what kind of child she grows to be while he is gone.  I cannot wait for Jonathan to come home to her and see what an amazing kid she is and re-connect with her.  Well, here we are.  Officially on Deployment: Day 1.

Jonathan's Visit

Jonathan got home from Macon around 10pm on Thursday.  We were both pretty pooped so we sat on the couch for like an hour and then went on to bed!  Friday we worked on cleaning the house a little and then were pretty lazy.  Seems like we did something else but I don't remember!  We went to Caprese for dinner and then raced back home to beat the storms!  We made it and hid in the bathroom for a good 30 minutes before we felt like it was safe and everything had passed.  Most of it must have fizzled out by the time it made it here because we didn't get hail or anything and I know my parents did!  Saturday we cleaned up the house and had my Aunt and Cousin over for dinner.  Sunday was Caitlyn's first Easter!!!  We stopped by Jonathan's parents' house to pick up Caitlyn's gift and then went on over to my parents' house.  We had a pretty good dinner with my Aunt and cousin still in town.  Caitlyn was pretty cranky the whole time until we forced her to take a nap.  After she finally woke up we were able to give her the gift from Grandma and Grandpa Clarke.  She had a blast!  Jon and I went for a walk in the nieghborhood since she got kind of cranky again and we needed a break!  I don't miss those hills!!!  Yesterday (Monday) we got Jonathan all packed up and worked on cleaning up the house a bit.  We met Joe, Kristina and baby Colin for lunch at Doc Green's (mmmMMMmmm!) and then hit up the Carter's outlet across the street.  Holy cow, I got some GREAT deals!!!  We did Johnny's Pizza for dinner and hit up Wal Mart's Easter clearance for even MORE GREAT DEALS!  I have decided that Caitlyn is NOT going to get giant Easter Bunnies every year.  I picked out a cute little one that will be just her size next year (well, not if she doesn't slow down on growing!).  He left before 5am this morning and I miss him already!

Now, as for food.  I ate what I wanted but did a bit of planning, portion control and a whole lot of honesty.  In the past, I would eat and eat but lie to myself about just how bad it was.  Fearing I'd blown it completely, I would just eat even more crap.  Making myself own up to my food made me be more careful about my "cheating".  I didn't feel like it was cheating, though!  I think it's important not to consider it such because of the guilt associated with the word.  I had a net deficit of 500 calories from Wednesday through Monday.  If I can manage to work out a few more times between now and weigh in day (Friday) and I don't eat back those calories, I should be able to make up for it.  My goal is to be within +/-100 calories for the week.  I started a few days early knowing that this weekend was going to be difficult.  Now, if I can just resist that champagne and cupcake in the fridge...

Pulled Over... Again.

Yes, Jon was pulled over again but this time on base.  They were lost and looking for their classroom when he realized he was doing 28 in a 25.  Of course, at that exact moment there was an MP that was kind enough to pull him over and remind him of the correct speed limit.  He was LUCKY that the MP saw he was a police officer in his driver's license picture and said out of professional courtesy he would give him a verbal warning.  We've decided he's not allowed to drive anymore when there are other people that can do it for him!  He's bored with his classes and homesick.

Back here in Georgia...

Caitlyn is doing well.  Her little tooth pokes out a bit more each day and her left bottom one feels like it's going to break out any day now.  She has an oatmeal cereal in the afternoon and a brown rice cereal in the evening.  Her digestive system seems to handle it pretty well and I think we'll be ready for other foods in the next month or so.  She's not a big eater in the morning but she makes up for it in the evening.  She still gets a total of 40 ounces of formula but some of it is mixed into her cereals.  If I make a bottle of 8 ounces and she's having cereal, I take out 1.5-2 ounces for cereal and then she'll finish the bottle afterwards.  She inhales pretty much everything she eats but if I were to give her 8 ounces on top of the cereal, she would be very pukey.  There have been a few occasions where she hasn't even finished the 6 ounces after cereal... those are mostly in the morning/afternoons, though.

I'm hanging in there and just learning how to get everything done while still making sure she is taken care of.  We have a routine most days and as long as we stick to it, things are fine.  She generally only fusses when she is hungry or tired so the better I anticipate the two, the easier it is.  My goal is to get our house clean by the time Jon comes back from Texas.  I don't just mean weekly cleaning type things... I mean really cleaned and organized.  This week consists of catching up on weekly cleaning stuff I put off last week plus working on the Spring Cleaning for Normal People assignment.  (http://biblicalwomanhoodblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/spring-cleaning-for-normal-people.html)  I'm also working on myself as a part of living a more organized and healthy lifestyle.  This week's self goal involves drinking more water.  I'm starting small so that hopefully this all will be for the long term.

5 More Weeks

It seems like months since the last time I blogged because so much has been going on in our lives!  Jonathan still hasn't gotten paid, been entered into pay or his promotion.  He finally got his orders for Macon and Texas.  I think he has one or two more sets of orders to worry about and then we should be settled into a pattern of getting paid on a regular basis.  He came home for two days a week ago and then again on Friday night.  He got himself pulled over for "suspected DUI" because he swerved out of the line trying to fish his cell phone out from the floor board of the car.  It wouldn't have been a big deal if we weren't all waiting for him at his parents' house to yell "SURPRISE!!!" for his surprise birthday party.  Everyone that was able to make it was patient and we made sure we fed them while they waited.  Jon was so touched that so many people were able to be there and waited so long for him to get there!  The next evening we went to Caprese to celebrate our anniversary (even though it was actually his birthday) and had a really enjoyable dinner.  This morning, we woke up at 6am and I dropped him off at the airport.  His flight just took off less than an hour ago and he should be there by 2pm.  He'll be back in about 5 weeks and we're hoping he'll have 3-4 days to spend at home before it's back to Macon again (but we'll believe it when it happens!).  It's so incredible to see Jonathan with Caitlyn.  He has far exceeded any expectations I had about what kind of father he would be.  He doesn't miss a beat when he's been gone, he seems to pick up right where he left off!  It's a bit of adjustment for me but they both do just fine.

Speaking of Caitlyn, she cut her first tooth on the 22nd (bottom right) and she just grows and grows more every day.  She is so fun to watch with everything she does.  It's amazing to see the learning process up close and personal.  She has a Little Einstein activity center that she just loves to play in.  It reminds me of her being at her "office" and it's like she's telling me she has "lots of business to do" as she plays.  She figured out the over-the-door bouncer yesterday, too.  Oh... and how to bang a toy on the tray to make the most possible noise.  While I'm not incredibly thrilled with the noise thing, I love how she's constantly growing and changing.  She's still not very interested in tummy time or crawling because she mostly gets frustrated but I still make her do it.  She can roll herself over onto her belly but she is most interested in walking.  She wants to be mobile more than anything and unfortunately, I'm not ready for it yet!!!  Guess I will have to be soon!

Pressure Cooker

I may have been a wee bit frustrated and angry in my last post.  It seems like no one knows anything to tell any of the soldiers and so we are all left in the dark about what's happening.  I always said there are three things in a man's life you don't fool with:  His wife, his truck and his paycheck.  Jon's car broke yesterday and we still have no idea if and when he's getting paid or even how much it will be when it happens.  Being away from your family and having everything fall to crap can make you feel like you're in a pressure cooker all by itself but not knowing if you're even getting paid when you're supposed to puts that much more stress on a man.  Being the protective woman that I am of my family, I will fight for my man with anyone that wrongs him.  I have had to use a lot of restraint and let him deal with things how he has needed to because no one will talk to a military wife!  Trust me, when we had all of those issues with the VA, I called and cussed those folks out.  All they did is put me on the "Do not speak with" list and I was put on hold until the call magically disconnected!  We are fortunate that Jon's dad knows someone in the Brigade who is higher up in rank and can generally offer up some answers of AT LEAST who to talk to that will know something about what Jon's issue is!  The problem is communication.  None of the guys Jon is working with know what's going on and if they do, they have issues communicating it!  We have been told that we SHOULD be getting the BAH Type I (the higher amount) but I will believe it when I see it!

We're also being told that Jonathan will be leaving January 25th-26th to go to Texas for ANOTHER class for 6 weeks.  Let's see... that's 3 wedding anniversaries taken away from us by the military in 5 years including next year.  Our back up has always been April 14 since that was the day we started officially dating but I don't think he has EVER been home for that one!!!  He's always been training, deployed or at drill.  We were able to spend our 2 year anniversary together but I was very ill waiting for my gall bladder surgery and then last year I was pregnant and we were preparing for his brother's wedding so I was also kind of sick and we were rushing around picking up clothes from fittings.  We actually had plans this year to go to the shooting range so he could teach me how to use his gun and then we were going to have dinner at Caprese.  He was able to score a bunch of free rounds from the police right before he left that they were going to scrap out, so we'll basically have to pay for the shooting lane (which is fairly cheap from what I understand).  I got one of those gift certificates from Restaurant.com for Caprese for a whole $1.20 and it's $25 off a $35 meal.  So, we had a cheap and fun evening planned.  I think it's fun anyway.  It's different from anything we've ever done before but it also serves a purpose and doesn't blow our limited budget (again, the pay issues).

Well, cross your fingers with me that Jon gets his promotion and orders this week.  And cross your toes that he gets paid on the 15th!!!

What FRG?

I have tried searching every term I can fathom to try and find the 48th Brigade's Family Readiness Group and to no avail.  They sent out two newsletters while Jonathan was deployed last time and had  few phone conferences for those who could not attend their meetings but they seem to have disappeared!!!  I would really like to get in touch with someone in the FRG at least for Jonathan's unit because we're being hosed on everything.  Still no promotion (he was elligible in October and paperwork was "submitted"), so far, no pay has been entered into the system for him being in Macon... this could be due to the fact that he still does not have orders to be there... and because he will be on 4-5 different sets of orders, we won't be getting BAH type I.  We'll be getting BAH type II which is about HALF of type I for his rank (which should be an E5).  Jonathan isn't the only soldier getting screwed out of BAH, either.  The main problem in getting this fixed is that it's mostly a bunch of lowly enlisted men that are going through this.  None of the higher ups or officers are having issues because they either have not been activated yet or are on ADSW orders.  They won't put Jon on ADSW orders because of "money issues".  Well guess what?!  We have money issues now TOO thanks to you penny pinching jerks!  You cannot take people away from their families for 18 months and deny them pay!!!  I am so tired of the same issues over and over and OVER again!!!  I am giving them one week before I flat out explode.  I was hoping to find someone in the FRG to tell and discuss this with but I guess they don't exist?  Maybe I should start my own FRG...

/end vent